Did I Just Say That Out Loud?

I am often asked how far out I plan what I will write about for my upcoming columns. My reply is commonly “While I have ideas on the back burners, I like to let life happen and see where it takes my journalistic journey.”

For instance, today’s happenings are column worthy. What seemed to be an everyday jaunt to the grocery store turned out to be an out of the ordinary, confrontational moral battle. I took my daughter Aubree with me to visit the newly opened, two-story grocery store. Aubree thought the concept of riding the elevator up to shop and back down the escalator to the car would be an adventure. The cart rides alongside on its own escalator. Another motivation for visiting the store was the $3 off coupon I received in the mail.

Upon checking out, I noticed a woman making a scene. She was angry that her bagboy had mistreated her. I wanted no part in her scene and tried to make a quick escape. As Aubree and I tried to push our overflowing cart onto the track and down the escalator we soon realized our efforts were futile. A kind man came over to help but the computerized sign above the escalator read ‘user error.’ At this point I went to get help while the traffic jam of shoppers and carts began to cluster. The woman who was shouting at the bagboy continued to express her outrage. An older woman asked her to keep her voice down and that set off the fireworks of obscenities. And that’s when the words came flowing out of my mouth faster than I could process them in my mind.

I took a stand. As my emotions culminated I said to the woman, “Excuse me but that’s enough, you need to stop using that kind of language, there are children present.” The woman proceeded to tell me that it was none of my business and she could say whatever she wanted to say and nobody was going to tell her what not to say and that I didn’t have proper respect for her. That is when her younger accomplice decided I needed an escort down the escalator. I placed Aubree safely in front of me and saw the man who had helped me earlier with my cart jump between us. Aubree recalls the enraged woman saying, “Move your A-Double Snakes out of my way.” To which he replied, “No chance you’re not going to touch her.” I felt myself physically shaking as I thought to myself, “Thank you God for sending this angel to my escalator but what happens when I step off? I’m 36-years-old and I’ve never been in a cat fight and I really don’t want to be a guest on the Jerry Springer show.”

I knew this woman could beat me to a pulp so I started to speak rationally and firmly. I’m not sure that I’ve ever heard the “F” word used so many times in such a brief amount of time. I’m not positive what I said either, but I managed to explain my position one last time to her. I politely asked her to stop using vulgar profanity around my child. This was how it became my business and yes I possessed very little respect for someone who behaved so inconsiderately in public. She returned to her clan after apologizing to my ‘little mama,’ a term she sarcastically labeled Aubree.

I’m pretty sure I got my heart rate up more quickly than any other workout I’ve tried lately. And, amazingly enough I restrained myself from making any further comments after the family walked past my vehicle verbalizing more unimaginative words from their limited vocabulary base. Another supernatural occurrence was that my minivan didn’t accidentally swerve in their direction as they walked home.

Here’s the craziest part of the story. Later that night I was waiting with my children to use the Redbox and was telling the story to my sister on my cell phone. The couple in front of us overheard my conversation and told me that they were in front of me in line at the grocery store and witnessed the whole thing. They said they couldn’t believe how crazed the woman was and were still in shock over the whole ordeal.

I have debriefed my daughter and discussed the unfortunate circumstances surrounding the day. The up side is I saved $77 and spent $93.

Some days I wish my life was a little less drama filled but what fun would that be? Life is too short to haphazardly click through the Viewfinder window.

One last bit of advice: parents please take notice and then find courage to stand up for what’s right, even if it might mean an unpleasant outcome (and maybe keep some pepper spray on hand).

Word of the Week: Each week I add a word that I have come across in my reading for which I did not know the definition. After looking it up I try to use it in my future columns. Last week’s word was parturition, defined as childbirth.”